This morning, just as I was about to walk out of the house, this text popped up.
For those of you who know S, you know this is NOT a common occurrence. She is one of the most responsible kids I know; mature way beyond her almost 13 years.
But every once in awhile she has a moment where she forgets things, just like the rest of us.
It would have been easy to ignore the text (my phone is usually in my purse in the mornings) or to tell a little white lie and say I was already on my way to school (taking the flute to her would make me a few minutes late). I could have also tried a little tough love; “You forgot it; take the consequences for your actions.”
But I thought about what was the lesson I really wanted her to learn and the decision was easy. Here’s the rest of our text conversation.
I am a firm believer in holding my kids responsible for their actions, but I am also keenly aware that they are human.
It’s not something that happens often. She acknowledged that it was her mistake. She would’ve understood if I hadn’t been able to bring it in, but I could. I can’t/won’t fix everything for her, but sometimes we all need a little slack.
She was waiting for me when I got to the middle school, and her smile matched the ‘Thank you!’ that bubbled out.
She knew it was out of my way.
She knew I didn’t have to bring it.
She knew I understood about forgetting.
In the moment, I ‘rescued’ her, but I’m okay with that because in the big picture I showed her that it’s okay to make mistakes and ask for help.
rsheffer said:
Beautiful.I totally agree with your parenting conclusions.It’s not a war.Our kids are just people who err as we all do.We don’t have to go around punishing and being angry it’s just self destructive.Love always wins…
jenmarten said:
Thank you. The lessons we teach them come from what we do way more than what we say.
Pat said:
We all need to be ‘rescued’ one in awhile.
Pat said:
‘once’
jenmarten said:
Yes, we do. 🙂
Debra said:
I teared up on this one . . . I will just say that it was something I needed to read.
jenmarten said:
Debra, I know you do the same thing, often, for the loved ones in your life. You are an amazing safety net.
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